When somethin is wrong with my baby ...

I have tried several times to call and talk to Datuh. She won’t talk to me. In her mind, everyone has abandoned her; when in fact ... she has pushed us all away.

At this point, there is nothing I can do ... but wait. Wait for her to call, miss me, want me.

It’s so very hard because there is no reasoning with her at this point. She is always right and refuses to see it any other way.

I have also been depressed and could not even bring myself to write in this journal. I must keep going. I must keep writing. Not just for myself ... but for all who are experiencing the horror of this terrible illness. They need to know that their feelings are real, and need to be expressed.

Soon, I’ll be taking a trip to Cottonwood to see Swan, J-ker and the grandchildren. I will try to stop by and see Datuh. Just to tell her that I love her ... and miss her ... with all my heart.