I haven’t heard from my DaTuh. My youngest, P.B. talked with me last night and told me that DaTuh is holding up but is realizing that her mental capabilities are fading fast. I know she’s scared. How I wish, I could reach out to her. If only for a brief moment on the phone . . . just to hear her voice.

I didn’t want this for my children. I wanted them to have full, happy lives. I wanted them to be able to experience so much more than what their short lives are offering. Dear Lord, please help me endure this pain. Please, keep me strong . . .

I spoke with Swan this morning, briefly. She seemed busy with her children so, I didn’t keep her long. Her attention span is also limited. I knew she was trying to concentrate on her babies so, I let her go before I wanted to . . . but, I spoke with her . . . told her I loved her . . . and in my heart and mind, embraced her tenderly . . .

I find myself wishing I could turn back the hands of time, to when they were all young, healthy and happy. I would break that time clock . . . forever keeping my babies safe from harm . . .