April 3rd

Her birthday is coming. She will be 33 years old. I remember holding her in my arms for the first time, gently kissing her tiny face. What a precious gift I had been given. I vowed to love and protect her for the rest of her life.

I will call my Swan today. I need to hear her voice. I know she will be brave and tell me she's alright...but I know she's not. She and her sister are at about the same level with this illness. Come home soon Swan...how we miss your smile...your cheerful spirit...

The girls have been keeping in touch lately. I feel the anticipation in my oldest. She's waiting...longing for her sister. We all are...

Coming Home

My Swan is coming home! We're all so excited. Lord, how we have missed her...and those babies.

The house will be going on the market soon.

I can hear the longing for home in her voice, each time I speak with her. She's impatient.
She will be empowered again...her strength will renew under the support of her family.

Oh, to hold her in my arms and feel her presence. To see them all together again, in this crucial time in our life...will be my fortitude...

GOD is good!

It's Been a While...

I haven't written in my blog for a while. Depression is setting in as, again I watch Huntington's take it's toll on yet another family member. I'm in a panic; as I sit by helplessly. Huntington's effects ALL family members. Those who live with the victim are greatly stressed...Still, I know that it is impairative that I keep going with this journal. It's good therapy...and the thought of possibly helping another soul thru this terrible illness is very important to me.

Last Saturday...my daughter came to spend the day with me. Her eyes all swollen from her hard earned tears...she curled up in my bed and slept. As I watched her...I saw my little girl...my first born...as a child, who I have protected, nurtured and loved with my very being.

In this stage of Huntington's...there is much confusion. Reality comes and goes. Fear and repulsion of the illness set in. Support and understanding are needed...and it's imperative to make sure the caregivier is also supported.

She said: "Mommy, I'd rather have cancer...anything but this...I'm going to become a vegetable,
and lose all my motor functions...my very ability to think for myself"

Yes baby...I know; and I will be there by your side...to the bitter end...